


Dancing on my own

by Themooncat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - After College/University, Bars and Pubs, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Kuroo Tetsurou/Original Character(s), One Shot, POV Third Person, POV Tsukishima Kei, Pining Tsukishima Kei, Post-Break Up, Sad with a Happy Ending, Singer Tsukishima Kei, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 07:23:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15505287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themooncat/pseuds/Themooncat
Summary: “All right, everyone. Hope you're enjoying yourselves. We’re going to slow it down for this song. It’s called “Dancing on my own”.Tsukishima pulled away from the mic for a moment to clear his throat and lick his lips. He closed his eyes listening to the band and feeling the music. It wasn't hard. He still wasn't over it. Overhim.





	Dancing on my own

**Author's Note:**

> Song fic based on Calum Scotts cover of ["Dancing on my own"]()
> 
> Been singing this song in my head the past few days and I ended up writing this.
> 
> Update (13 Jan. 2019): I have drawn an [artwork](https://twitter.com/LucyToyn/status/1084429573876404224) to go with the fic! (I'm happy with how it turned out)

“Hey, Tsukishima. You've been doing really well, the customers love your singing. I know this is just your third week but I’m giving you a raise. You brought in a lot more customers than I've had before. Keep up the good work.” The bartender/manager, Koda, said giving Tsukishima, who was sat at the bar, a pat on the shoulder as he made his way behind the bar to get ready before they opened that night.

 

Tsukishima gave a small smile and thanked him before taking another drink of his cider. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Koda, who was making sure all the glasses were cleaned and that he had enough stock, asked.

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

“Why don't you sing that song you sang for your audition?” Koda finally looked at Tsukishima, who had his eyes now trained on his glass of cider. “It was a very good song, I loved it, would you mind playing it tonight? The band also would like to hear you sing it again.” 

 

Tsukishima didn't answer for a while that Koda thought he might've said something wrong. “I mean, if you already had a playlist set, then you don't have too.”

 

“No, it's fine.” Tsukishima said after taking a big breath. “I can sing it tonight, probably later on in the evening when people are a little more relaxed though.”

 

Koda smiled brightly then looked away as if in thought before his eyes widened in realization and looked back at Tsukishima apologetically. “Wait, that song actually means something to you, doesn't it?” The flinch from Tsukishima confirmed it. “You don't have to sing it. I'm sorry, it was just so good that I wanted to hear it again, but I don't want you to do something that will upset you. I-”

 

“It's fine. I can do it. What happened is in the past, I- I am ok now.” Tsukishima downed the rest of his cider. “I'm going to warm up for tonight.” Tsukishima left to his dressing room. 

 

The bar was now opened for the night and people were enjoying themselves, Tsukishima sang his set list and even did a couple of requests. It was now later in the night, or early morning however you want to see it, people were calming down and wanted to just relax. 

 

“All right, everyone. Hope you're enjoying yourselves. We’re going to slow it down for this song. It’s called “Dancing on my own”.

 

Tsukishima pulled away from the mic for a moment to clear his throat and lick his lips. He closed his eyes listening to the band and feeling the music. It wasn't hard. He still wasn't over it. Over  _ him _ .

 

He had sang the song during his audition. It wasn't his actual audition song but once he opened his mouth, that song is what came out. Playing it now brought back all the feelings and memories he thought he had pushed away. 

 

Suddenly he was back in college, in Tokyo.    
  


\--

Tsukishima kept his eyes closed as he listened to the band, feeling the music. His heart clenched as the memories came forward but did his best to focus and put all his emotions in the song. 

 

Had he opened his eyes, he would've seen a new group of customers come in. One of them froze when he saw Tsukishima on stage. The group had to pull him to sit at the table. The guy kept his eyes glued to Tsukishima.

\--

 

**Somebody said you got a new friend**

 

Tsukishima was in class when he overheard it. 

“Kuroo got engaged!?!” A group of girls whined. “I thought he was gay, though.” “No, he’s bi. But isn't he dating Tsukishima?” They gossiped, unaware that he could hear them. One of the girls looked in his direction only to see him leave the classroom. 

 

No. They weren't really ‘ _ dating _ ’, if anything he was Kuroo’s ‘ _ dirty little secret _ ’. Kuroo never came out to his parents. They only told Akaashi, Akiteru and Yamaguchi. Kuroo was too scared to even tell Kenma and Bokuto, his best friends, in fear that his parents might find out from them.

 

But he guessed that Kuroo not ‘dating’ anyone made his parents impatient as they set him up with an omiai. Kuroo, being the good son he was, accepted it. 

 

Without telling him.

 

**Does she love you better than I can?** ****  
  


“I'm sorry.” Kuroo said as he left him for her. But Tsukishima knows that she won't be able to understand him fully. Won't be able to love him like he can.

 

**And yeah, I know it's stupid** ****  
**But I just gotta see it for myself** ****  
  


He would still try to talk to Kuroo. He understood that Kuroo loved his parents and would do anything for them. Tsukishima thought he would be happy just staying by Kuroo's side. But it broke him inside, seeing his arms around her, doing things they used to do.

 

**I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh oh oh** ****  
**I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh oh oh** ****  
  


Kuroo stopped seeing him altogether. Saying that he ‘ _ couldn't do this _ ’. But that proved to be hard since they shared the same group of friends. Kuroo opted to ignore him instead. Tsukishima thought he was broken before but now he was sure his heart was torn out. He couldn't sleep well and stopped eating, he didn't have the appetite. 

 

**And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh** ****  
**I keep dancing on my own** ****  
  


He would still watch Kuroo from afar. Act like everything was fine when he was with their friends even if Kuroo still wouldn't look at him. Tsukishima thought that maybe Kuroo was ignoring him because he still loved him and it hurt him too, but he banished that thought,  _ He doesn't love me anymore. Did he ever love me?... He probably hates me now. _

 

**I just wanna dance all night** ****  
**And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line, yeah** ****  
**Stilettos and broken bottles** ****  
**I'm spinning around in circles** ****  
**And I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh** ****  
**I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh** ****  
**And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh** ****  
**I keep dancing on my own** ****  
**And oh no** ****  
  


**So far away but still so near** ****  
**The lights come up, the music dies** ****  
**But you don't see me standing here** ****  
**I just came to say goodbye** ****  
  


Tsukishima did his best to continue like he used to. He couldn't, so decided to drop out junior year. He still loved Kuroo, a lot.  _ But Kuroo doesn't love me, he moved on _ . Tsukishima loved him so much, he knew he had to leave him. He went to see Kuroo before he left back to miyagi, to see him one last time, to say goodbye. But  _ she  _ answered the door.

 

“Oh, hi! You're Tetsu’s friend right? What can we do for you? Would you like to come in?”

 

He saw the ring on her slim finger and all the strength and courage he had to bring himself there left him.  _ She’s so kind and sweet. What was I thinking? Of course he would be happy with her… What am I doing? _

“No, I-” Tsukishima cleared his throat and with a trembling voice said “I'm so sorry. I don't know why I came actually. Sorry to disturb you.”

 

He left Tokyo and didn't look back. 

 

\--

Unbeknown to Tsukishima, Kuroo had looked for him after that night. But it was too late. Tsukishima was gone. No one knew he left. He didn't tell anyone there not even Yamaguchi. 

\--

 

He had a small apartment but needed a job. He worked at Ukai’s convenience store for a month until he saw a flyer saying that a bar was looking for a singer and had great pay. He auditioned. Whatever song he had planned was wiped from his mind once he opened his mouth. All his bottled up emotions were brought up, using this as an opportunity to be let out, and this song rolled out. 

 

**I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh** ****  
**And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh** ****  
**I keep dancing on my own** ****  
**And oh no** ****  
  


Singing this song again made Tsukishima remember the one thing, out of everything, he wished  **did** go away. 

 

He still loves Kuroo Tetsurou.

 

**Said I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh no** ****  
**And I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh no** ****  
**And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh** ****  
**I keep dancing on my own** ****  
  


**So far away, but still so near** ****  
**The lights come up, the music dies** **  
** **But you don't see me standing here**

 

Tsukishima looked down at the ground taking deep breaths and blinking away the tears that formed. The claps and cheers were muffled in his ringing ears. Once he was sure that the tears were gone he looked up to thank the audience.

 

“Thank you, we-”

 

Tsukishima froze as he saw the group. A group that consisted of Kenma, Yamaguchi, Akaashi, Bokuto and… Kuroo. The look on his face, apologetic, sad, yet happy and…  _ love? No. What am I thinking? That's stupid. What is he doing here anyway? Where is his fiancée- no,  _ **_wife_ ** _ … They’d have married by now. _ He tore his gaze away and looked at the rest of the crowd. “Thank you, we’re going to take a little break before our next set.” 

 

As he walked down the stage both Koda and Kuroo walked towards him. Koda, carrying a bottle of cider, got to him first and beamed. 

 

“That was amazing Tsukishima! And I must say, better than your audition, which I didn't think was possible!” He handed Tsukishima the bottle. Tsukishima saw Kuroo behind Koda and tried to escape.

 

“Thank you, umm. Please excuse me, I have to go freshen up.” Koda nodded and turned, bumped into Kuroo, which granted Tsukishima a bit more time to get away. But Kuroo didn't let that stop him, he just continued and jogged up to catch Tsukishima’s hand before he disappeared into the dressing room. 

 

“Kei! Kei, please, I need to talk to you.” 

 

Tsukishima noticed then that Kuroo had a bouquet of flowers… his favourite flowers. _Don't be ridiculous, Kei!_ _They’re for his wife._ He pushed his thoughts away and allowed Kuroo into the dressing room so that they wouldn't cause a scene, especially since Koda was looking at them cautiously. Once inside Tsukishima took his hand back and they sat on the couch.

 

“Kuroo,” Tsukishima saw Kuroo’s eyes sadden at the use of his last name, but he thought he was just imagining it, that it was just his emotions getting the better of him. “It's- It's good to see you again. What are you doing in Miyagi? Where's your wife?”

 

“We didn't get married.” Kuroo looked down at his hands on his lap, Tsukishima looked as well. Sure enough, there was no ring on his hand. “I-I couldn't marry her. I couldn't bring myself to marry someone I didn't love.”

 

Tsukishima wasn't sure how to answer so he just nodded his head in understanding. 

 

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kei. I- I was so stupid. I shouldn't have cut you off like that.” Kuroo had tears in his eyes and tentatively reached over to hold Tsukishima's hand and handed over the flowers. “I love you. I always have, I was so stupid to let you go. You were my everything and I destroyed that. I never should've- I'm sorry. Your song, the way you sang it… I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I hope that I could have a second chance, but I understand if you don't want that. I just needed to tell you. We could be friends. I just need you in my life again. I want to to see you happy, to make you happy. I-” 

 

Tsukishima jumped onto Kuroo hugging him tight, scared that if he let go of Kuroo he’d disappear and wake up from this dream. But this wasn't a dream. He was actually hugging Kuroo and Kuroo came back for him like he had always dreamed. 

 

Kuroo hugged him back just as tightly, letting out a shuddering breath before he sniffled and cried on Tsukishima’s shoulder. “I love you so much, I-I'm so sorry, Kei.” 

 

Tsukishima pulled away and cupped Kuroo’s face, lifting it up so that Kuroo was looking directly at him. He smiled down at Kuroo with tears in his eyes. “I never stopped loving you Tetsu. I tried, but I couldn't. I left because even though I tried so hard to be happy for you, I couldn't watch you marry someone else. I knew you weren't ready for us, that you were scared for your parents to find out. I thought that that was what you wanted so I left. I didn't want to ruin what I thought was your chance at happiness.” 

 

Kuroo kissed Tsukishima on the lips. Tsukishima’s tears fell upon contact, his glasses pushed up and fogged. “You are my happiness.” Kuroo said between kisses. He kissed Tsukishima deeply before pulling away and resting their foreheads together, looking into each other's eyes. “I see you, Kei, I'm taking you home and you're not going to dance on your own, not anymore.” Kuroo chuckled. “I'm sorry it took so long.” 

 

Tsukishima smiled big and happy before he kissed Kuroo again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed it (´∀｀)♡
> 
> Do tell me if I made a mistake or if there's something you don't understand and I'll fix it. (I don't have a beta reader and my writing isn't great.) 
> 
> Also... Is this angst or just hurt/sad?? I can't really tell.. If it's angst, tell me and I'll add the tag. (；´д｀)ゞ
> 
>  
> 
> [ twitter (updates, art and randomness, feel free to chat :D )](https://twitter.com/lucytoyn)  
> [ Tumblr (art)](https://lucymt-art.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  


End file.
